Teen Talk: Transitioning from a Public to DoDEA School
By Emily Wheeler, MAMF Student Liaison
DoDEA graphic used by permission
Two years ago, “back-to-school” for me meant starting at a new school. That wasn’t particularly special in and of itself; I’d gone to at least 5 or 6 schools since kindergarten. But what made that year unique was that I would be going to my first DoDEA school, in Germany. I had no idea what to expect.
My mom had told me that she had accepted a job overseas that previous February. I spent the next six months stalking school websites and Instagram pages. I probably stared at the same “About Our School” page for hours. It felt like I was trying to solve a mystery of what my life would be like at my new school. The last time I moved was in sixth grade and from one public, stateside school to another, where military children were the exception, not the rule.
That first day, I was so anxious. I went from class to class, meeting teachers and doing awkward icebreaker activities with people who already seemed to know each other. In hindsight, with how many people PCS over the summer, I’m sure fewer people were actually already friends than I thought. Even so, I felt totally alone.
But what made DoDEA feel different from other schools I’ve gone to is the people. During class and lunch, the people I approached were so welcoming. Almost everyone knows what it’s like to be the new kid, and so many people come in and out that almost every club, friend-group, and class of people I reached out to were open to new people. You just have to be willing to peek out of your shell and introduce yourself.
I also learned that I had to stop comparing every part of my life at a public school vs. my new DoDEA one so much. There are a lot of opportunities at my new school- unique clubs, a lot of honor societies, places to travel. I’ve been on ski club trips to Italy and attended a Model UN conference in Prague. I still miss being in a marching band and my old friends. I think that’s one of the tough parts, loving a new place and friends so much while still missing the old ones. But you can’t fully enjoy anything if you’re constantly thinking about what you could be doing instead.
When I had told my friends at my stateside school that I was moving, it felt like I was constantly clarifying. Yes, I would still have to take the SAT. Yes, I could take Advanced Placement classes. Yes, I could go to school football games and homecoming. It would be like my public school, just different. I couldn’t really blame people for not knowing what going to a DoDEA school is like, I didn’t either.
When I returned to the States to participate in American Legion Auxiliary Girls State, some people who were military-affiliated already knew about DoDEA before I told them. But I also realized that I needed an “elevator pitch”- “My mom works for the Department of Defense as a civilian, so I go to school in Germany.” Cue questions about if I speak German, what it’s like, etc. But I’ve found that having some short way to summarize how my life works makes meeting new people much easier.
I think the only people who really know what it’s like to be a military child overseas are military children overseas. After my third DoDEA back-to-school season, I know that it’s every returner’s responsibility to help out any new people, especially those who are new to living overseas. But, it’s also the newly-arrived person’s responsibility to be willing to embrace the unknown and not fall into the trap of comparing everything to the place they last lived. I’m glad that I have the ability to talk to new people, ask them where they’re from, and help them be more comfortable, just like the kids and teachers I met during my first days.
